a snapshot of time is just a memory of mine

i'm still suffering from 'exhuastion' from yesterday's quest. actually it wasn't THAT bad, but i guess it's because i've become such a great lump of fat ever since crescent stopped mass run for sec 4s before the prelims, which is about 5mths ago. i'm missing mass run so much cause it makes me feel like i'm exercising, although the distance is less than 1.6km. hiaz.

but nj orientation has been kind and pretty fun this week. i must say the ogls have put in alot of effort to plan each and every detail. plus they took great care of us. three cheers for them! (=

hmms...nothing much to update about since i dont wish to go into details about my day. i shall go check out my timetable tomorrow but i dont have a very good feeling about it. i took a quick glimpse at it today and if i didn't misread anything, i only have 1 lesson to attend on monday from 8am-8.50am and i'm free for the rest of the day till 1. that sucks because that's alot of time wasted. )= maybe i should go sit in for chem lectures and see if i want to take it after jae. for all i know i might be switching over to science stream if i want to take h2 chem. but i guess that's q a low possibility. never mind, i shall fret about all these when the time comes for it.

there's a part of me which cant wait for the weekends because it means i'm going to meet familiar faces which i really miss a whole lot although it's just about 2 weeks apart. plus i'm really excited to hit the shops again to continue my hunt for new year clothes. i hope i can buy somemore nice stuff although i highly doubt so. and the idea of just sitting down over a cuppa drink or ice cream and filling each other up about our lives is something i always look forward too.

i'm pretty much into quirky cafes with perfect ambience etc, i think it's cool. makes you forget about life for awhile as you relax and enjoy the peace and calm all around. i wish i had a car so that i could go to exciting and new places. i wish there was someone who share my passion/joy in sourcing out new places and being willing to try them out. someone who knows where to go and to just keep quiet instead of rattling non-stop at the appropriate times. maybe sometimes it's good to be alone, just maybe. there's alot of things i wish to do, but maybe now isn't the time yet. ok, i'm digressing again.

i dont know if i'm the one who change, or if you are the one. i dont know how to bring this across but i miss the old you. the less ego one, the one with a stand instead of being swayed by the world. i pretend i dont see it or hear it. but sometimes it just hit be hard that people can be so superficial at times. i find it hard to trust someone like this because i dont know when you'll turn around and bitch about me. it scares me to see how you lie so easily without any hesitation. i worry if you do the same to me and if you ever lied to me while i just believe every single thing you told me. there were times when i just feel so tired talking to you because i know what i say have little or no effect on you at all. you just pretend to listen and the next minute you go back to your 'old ways'. it seems like you tell me your so-called problems just so that you can bask in that attention and concern i give you. you just keep telling me the same few things everytime we talk and i end up repeating my advices time and time again. i dont know how to put these down in words. but i've tried to hint about how i feel before, but you're too caught up with your own little things you never really bothered. of course there were times when you were really nice to me, for that i'm really thankful and glad. it's also such memories which keeps me holding on to this friendship. sometimes i just feel like trying in the towel and not give a damn anymore. it's easy if i want to because we're all in different schools now and it's easy to just not stay in contact anymore. no matter how much i hesitate to admit this, i cant help but realise that maybe you mean so much more to me. that's why i'm saying this here because i know telling you face-to-face would be useless. i hope you would start to think about the way you've been treating me and everyone else. most importantly are you being fair to yourself? are you losing bits of the real you in an attempt to be 'cool' or whatever? i think that's the last thing i would want to see happen. i know you're nice by nature, so why change for the worst? do something before it's too late.

signed and sealed with love at...9:38 PM
>>>