we sit in front of that imaginary TV, hoping for something to flash across the screen.

It is hope that keeps us going.

really, the week has been rocketing downwards since yesterday. i felt so down, so upset over yes-nec. seriously, i really think we did great. everything felt to surreal. frankly speaking, we thought the champion trophy and prize money belongs to either nanhua or us, but little did we expect that was not the case at all.

sitting down there amongst the audience was an equally scary and nervous experience. (ok maybe not, but we were so nervous) i kept on slapping yuqi and pearlyn's legs when crescent was coming on. I'm so happy to see that the juniors actually put on such a splendid presentation. Jiali was a great speaker on stage, good use of stage space and very confident. Jingjing came on after i think. As a scholar, her spoken english is pretty good, everyone could understand her and she constantly had a smile on her face. Ok...i cant remember who came next. But Limin started off pretty well, i would say she improved as compared to those practice session. Dont be too hard on herself alright? You tried your best and as the youngest member, it's good enough. cheer up! Jessica was smiling all the way, great improvement from practice too. Jiayi even managed to memorise the figures and all. Confident as well.

I really admire those 2 nan hua presenters. their english is superb i kept going on about the fact that i want their kinda english.

All in all, it was a job well done. Then again, we were all nervous-wrecked when it was time for the announcement of results. we thought we could at least recieve the best visual award since we're the only group with flash animation and colourful, self-made ppt background and all. It was such an obvious choice, but somehow, we missed it. Not only did we not get the award we were so confident of, we didn't even manage to get into top 3. Ended up with a consolation. i was so shocked and upset and indignant and angry all at the same time i wanted to cry. seriously, tears were already welling up in my eyes. But i know i cant cry, for the team, for the club as an ex-CEO i can't. so there, i bit everything back and kept silent. I felt to dejected much less the team. it was almost as if i was part of the team. sad sad sad. but yea, i guess we got to learn to accept the unfairness of life. Even if we did not win, i thought at least _______ would get it. seriously speaking, non of the business competition i've been to have been fair. Business competitions are not as straightforward as, say track nationals. In nationals you just got to come in first and no questions will be asked. But in the case of such business competitions, it's very much up to the judges to decide on the winner, it all depends on one's view. extremely subjective i would say. so i guess we've got no right to say if the results were a fair one. On the other hand, i still feel rather sore about it.

oh wells. enough about yes-nec. at least it was a good experience and their presentation skills certainly improved. Cheer up juniors. I'm still proud of you guys. (=

so continuing on about how horrid my day was today. i totally screwed up both a math and emath test. i finished a math within 10 mins and was so confident that i got everything correct. it was only after we handed in the papers did i realise that i made super silly careless mistakes in the paper which costs me alot of marks. damn. i was so upset i wanted to swear and curse, but i didn't. instead, i let out a super irritated and loud sigh zifang and chuting was like "what's that for?". e math was even worst, i dont want to talk about it. it's more of a pass and fail rather than whether it's an A1 or A2. i'm upset. grrr.

and to top it all, i've got tons of homework to catch up on. there's history test tomorrow and i haven't touched my text at all. English mock to hand in since i missed it for nec. Thousand and one prelim papers it's impossible to finish.

i'm very upset and stressed. the condition of my skin tells it all.

i dont know if i should go for sparks to support the rest on saturday. i need to mug, but on the other hand i want to just chill and have fun. the thing is time and reality does not permit me to do so. ))=

signed and sealed with love at...6:11 PM
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