it's a time when scraped knees and plasters come together

seriously, prelims leave me agitated and upset every single day. after each paper i feel so dejected. i feel as if it wouldn't matter if i studied or not because at the end of the day i didn't do as well as i wanted to. but then, before the day ends, i'll pick myself up and assure myself that God will just give me the grades i deserve and put me in the place He thinks is the best for me. so it's like a plaster over a wound and off i go mugging my ass off for the next paper. and the whole cycle repeats itself again and again. it' stressful and extremely upsetting, but what to do?

and so, chem paper was easy. for paper 2. but i made silly mistakes and lost marks all over the place for them. i'm upset, very upset. I dont think chuting will see this, but i really appreciate having you beside me after each paper and just asking me to stop thinking about my papers while going home. i'm sorry for all the rubbish i got to put you through.

so i was in a horrid horrid mood today and even more so when i called home a hundred and one time before someone picked up the phone. i freaking had a bad day in school then i was stuck at the busstop because i didn't have an umbrella to go home. I called my dad, my mum and home but none answered. somehow i felt to helpless standing down there in the rain. i know it's not exactly their fault and it was kinda wrong for me to shout into the phone, but i just wanted to get home so badly and just pretend nothing was wrong. i guess it's just a phase i'll get over with. all these moodswinging rubbish i cannot stand it myself.

and i ended up going to vivo with pearlyn after reaching home and slacking around for awhile. it was a good break from all the crazy revision but i kinda feel guilty about everything now. it's time to hit the books.

and i dont know if i should go for pri school gathering tmr. i miss my friends, but my prelims performance beckons me to my books

signed and sealed with love at...8:38 PM
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