it's just those nerves

you know english prelims today was actually managable if i think about it. but then again, i trip because of my nerves. second time already if you count o level orals. i can't stand it. i was trying to calm myself down and all before the exam. i really wasn't THAT nervous, just afraid that i wont have any good plots and stuff. so i prayed and felt a whole lot better. but when i started writing the functional writing and realise that my tone and everything was just not right, i started to freak. then i didn't have enough time to finish within the 45 mins i appointed for myself. nonetheless i forced myself to put down my pen and start on my compo.topic was on childhood. i thought of a few good plots but ended up writing a morbid and cliche story simply because i didn't think that i could write a good one for the plots i thought of. so as the time ticked pass, i became even more nervous. and there. english paper 1 gone down the drain.

paper 2 wasn't that good either. totally had no clue as to how to answer the first 2 questions. vocab was pretty bad too. i think the most i can manage for vocab is bout 2-3 pts. i just hope my summary is some miracle or something. if not it's gonna be a B or even a C for my L1. and that's like my entire L1R5 gone down the drain.

i hate my nerves. it's irritating me and making me screw up so many things. i wasn't that bad last time. i think i lost my self-confidence. hiaz.

i really dont want to make the same few mistakes for the rest of the papers. i really need to do well. sometimes i think it's just my own expectations which i can't live up to. my mum even wants me to go poly and not waste time so i can just study something i want to do next time. she said jc is for those ppl who dont know where to go. but then, i dont want to. maybe it's just my pride and all those stupid reasons. argh. can't stand it.

off to math tuition.

horrid day

signed and sealed with love at...6:41 PM
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