the person you love must can be the person you hate

don't you guys agree with this? it's just a thought that has been in me for quite some time and i decide to share with you guys this time. it's like the more you love someone, the hurt that person cause you can be so much deeper. agree? it's like when you love someone, you expect more from them. and when they disappoint you, or even do something to hurt you, it would cause so much pain. the pain would be so much worst as compared to just an ordinary friend. i don't really know how to phrase this whole idea, but it's just a thought that has been running through me lately. And i know i'm not supposed to hate someone, it's wrong. like the bible said that we are to treat our enemies with love. but i just can't seem to do it. although it is the most sensible thing to do. especially when the person just means so much to me.hiaz, pray pray pray!

anyways, i shall really try very hard to go for tuan qi this sat. i'm kind of afraid you know. i'm scared that i don't know anyone there. actually thinking back, it's pretty weird that i havent build up really strong relationships with the ppl in church. i mean we all practically grew up there. and we have known each other for at least ten years. yet, i hardly know some of them. hiaz. this is something i really need to improve on. i guess i'm just not socialable enough. and looking at some of the teens who have left us, and listening in at conversations their parents had with mine, their main reason for refusing to come to church is simply because they don't have friends! and i know this is clearly wrong, because we are a body of christ and we are brothers and sisters in christ. this is something more than just friends in fact. so i'm trying really hard to build up better relationships with the ppl in church cuz i think it's really important. and i don't want to stop going to church or anything. i know this would sound random and all. but i've even decided that if i get a bf, he has to be a christian. (not tat i'm thinking of getting into a relationship now.) but yea, my parents have been drilling this into me since young. and i see the point. becuz it would be really difficult to expect ur bf to become a christian. and even if he do, he might just do it to get into my good books. and once we start a family and all, he might arrange alot of things on sundays and then we wun get to go to church. i would definitely want to bring my children or in fact the whole family to church next time. ok...this is really getting far fetch. if like 20 yrs down the road and you see that i've not sticked to what i said here today, pls give me a tight slap and remind me. i won't be angry at you for doing that. in fact i would be very happy. really.

anyway, homework session with chuting was q productive today. at least i cleared up chem and did more math. i'm still contemplating if i should do chem tys. hiaz. oh wells. shall see if i have the time. and i'm almost done with geog! left plate tectonics to read up and then do. hehe. i'm v happy with that.

then another homework session with zifang tmr. hopefully we would be able to cover more stuff. ok..i'm off to read plate tectonics then sleep.(=

signed and sealed with love at...1:11 AM
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