&& HURT;

Thursday, December 20, 2007

when you start to think all over again if everything/anything was worthwhile

sorry for the lack of post lately because my life has been pretty hectic, fun, meaningful etc all at the same time. well, i'll get to that later in the post. but in the meantime, i wont be updating so often because the wireless modem has died on us at home and we're all surviving on a LAN internet right now. which means that my dad, mum, 2 brothers and i have to take it in turns to use the net since only one computer at a time can be connected. hiaz. so troublesome. i've been dying from internet withdrawal symptoms since yesterday after youth camp. i was just holing up and trying to read harry potter so as to keep my mind off things.

alright, to keep a long long story short... i went to the zoo plus night safari with my darlings on friday. it was pretty tiring but a good change from the usual parental company eh. hahas. ooh! and we attempted to tan at the condo before leaving but the sun went to hide when we finally got our ass down after minor crying session from p. hahas. i know you're super touched by what i did so pls put up pictures in your blog/facebook/friendster etc so that ppl would know you have such a sweet friend like me! (hoho, kidding!) but yea, i'm glad both of you like it although i wasn't too satisfied, esp with the one i gave to *. (sorry i cant name the person due to some reasons) so anyway, i'm so in love with the pool in the condo! they have like 3 different sections which stretches even longer than an olympic size pool. complete with kid's shallow pool, jacuzzi and a deeper one. we actl wanted to go for the jacuzzi one but after camwhoring for a v long time, we had less than 15mins so we decided not to get wet but just go back upstairs. so we showered and got ready to leave for the zoo. i was still pretty dead and looking really really horrible because i had only about 2 1/2 hrs of sleep the night before so as to complete up all the stuff. look at the great lengths i would go for people i love! hehe. yes, so i was pretty much a walking zombie although i tried my best to keep my spirits up. (which wasn't that difficult with people like p and ** around) so anyway we spent the longest time in the zoo staring at animals and looking at the disgustingly huge amounts of pee and poo an animal gives out. it's pretty disgusting yet funny at the same time how at least one of us would keep exclaiming "i think that thing is shitting/peeing!" then all the rest of us would turn and laugh. then we attempted to find dinner over at night safari but everything was crazily over-priced so we settle for ice cream at ben&jerry where service was horrible. they didnt even bother to warm the brownie! argh! anyhows we walked around night safari more and the childish side of both * and ** never fails to amaze p and i. hahas. but all in all it was a fun day and we had supper along the shops behind beauty world. pretty good but i was tired so i didn't eat much. anyway it was past my usual mealtime and i wont feel hungry once i miss the time. anyway one of their friends joined us and he took us on a spin around some spooky places. reminds me of how my parents would use to drive us to random places when i was younger just to expose us to different sights in singapore. so * and ** weren't exactly right in claiming that we dont get to do such stuff with our parents. in any case, we chat till 5 plus before calling it a day and going to sleep for a couple of hours. i was seriously zoned out by then but launched into an uneasy sleep cause it was freezing cold and i was in a new environment. i'm really glad to have formed such close bonds with them and i really hope it will continue that way in the years to come. i really dont know if we'll still be able to stay in touch and be as frank to each other next time, but i'm just keeping my fingers crossed that things would turn out the way like how sk, lt and i get along. (= i guess it's such a hope which keeps me holding on. the comfort in the fact that i have such sweet people in my life.

then came youth camp at nacli from sunday till tues. technically it ends on wed afternoon but i left on tues night instead. it was really enriching like every other camp and i was glad i made the decision to go for it although i was really reluctant and to some extent afraid. i was afraid that i didn't know any youths and i'll probably feel left out. but God works in every little aspect and i'm glad to know the other youths better, even if it's just their names or sth. i must say most of them have been v welcoming and i'm happy for that. and not to forget the sermons really reminded me of many stuff which i've taken for granted. like how i've somewhat become numb to the fact that Jesus was crucified on the curse cross for sinners like us. He didn't have to do any of those, but He did so that there's hope for us. Salvation is not something abstract like the forgiveness of our past sins and the comfort that we'll move on to heaven and eternal life later. but it's also a wholesome plan relevant to the present where God gives us the strength and hope to live for the present age. The fact that our old and sinful nature was crucified together with Him and we must live a new life instead of reverting to our old ways. yup, just some stuff i've learnt. some of the sermons were really heavy and kinda discouraging because it made me realise how little i've done in my 10 yrs as a christian (i rmb pretty clearly that i did the prayer when i was six. it's pretty amazing how i can still rmb that day vividly in my mind even though i was still so young) and of course i had a pretty good talk with my dad's students on the second night cause they were my room mates. youth doesn't seem SO intimidating afterall, although i must say i'm still a little apprehensive. but i believe it'll get better.

sorry for the lack of details because i'm really lazy to go into them. heh. i shall end with a few pictures. i hope p doesn't mind. (i've picked the discreet ones..hehe)

signed and sealed with love at...5:45 PM
>>>