that feeling just doesn't seem to fade

have you ever felt you like you smile and laugh but really,you are not that girl inside?you feel tangled up and twisted and you feel fragile and broken and you wonder where you gone and lost yourself.

you feel like it's so easy to be nobody,that way nobody and nothing can hurt you or get to you.you are in other words,just emotionless and blank,you do things the way people want,you play safe,you don't take risks.

there is nothing behind your eyes,your eyes hold no meaning,you consider doing that..just letting yourself go because you don't know how to hold on to yourself,your stuck and for once,you have nothing to say.no laughter or smiles can help it...is this what it feels like to be like a mess?

i don't know why i but i seem to be very bothered this week. i know that i'm feeling v bothered and all. but the thing is i don't know why. i mean all the things i'm facing now i've faced them before, and i never seemed to be so upset the last time it all happened. )= maybe it's just the stress of common test...but then again, it might be because of you and you and you...

i try to act as if nothing is wrong. and nothing is bothering me. but somehow people around me still notice. and it's not like i spend alot of time with them in school. like pearlyn just suddenly popped up today and asked me if i was ok... in y was asking why i seem to be frowning everytime she sees me... but i thought i did a good job hiding my emotions..?

oh wells...i'll get everything sorted out once common tests are over. anyway it's just 2 more days.

i've got no high hopes of doing well this time. as long as i do average i'm ok. not a below average i'm satisfied. afterall i'm still doing last minute work no matter how much i keep saying i'm not supposed to do that this year... after that 2 times fail in e math test i'm seriously doubting what i can achieve. (but i promise i'll get over all these)

on a lighter note (actl there's no lighter note...) hmms...ok.. at least i'm looking forward to marche treat on wednesday! (= although the plans are not firmed up yet...but it's most likely gonna happen. and then i can go for more shopping. shall drag mum out to do my nets card too. she promised since last yr but we cant seem to find the time to do it. hiaz.

ok...i need to go mug my ass of now. bye...updates till next tuesday.

signed and sealed with love at...11:02 PM
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