let the wind blow my tears dry

i've been in a foul mood today. especially in the morning.

actually i was an emo kid ytd and today everything just had to rub it in. i think i was complaining so loudly on the bus to chuting that the uncle in front of us kinda turn back. but then again, i was fuming mad i didn't bother.

you know what, i've got a damn big urge to just start bitching about you right here on this public spot. the only thing that's stopping me is that it's not right to bitch and gossip about someone. actually this is not gossip cuz it's freaking facts. and they hurt a hell load. (btw pls pardon my 'vulgar' language today. note that i don't swear so easily unless i'm really pissed off)

damnit. i treated you as a real friend and never once betrayed you. i treated you with love and sincerity and you just had to destroy everything like that. let me tell you, i'm not gonna try to do anything anymore to salvage this. you wrecked it yourself and that shows how much i mean to you. if you want to ask me why things become like tat, ask yourself what have you done to me first. freaking hypocrite!

to those who stood by me, esp edwyna and chuting, thanks alot and i really appreciated it. and i can give you my word i'll never ever do the same to you cuz i know how much it hurts. in fact i won't do it to any of my friends no matter how distant we are.

and i was so tired out by everything that's happening around my life that i was just pretty quiet during the max brenner treat from ms tan. in fact while waiting for the mrt to go home i just teared silently. the tears just came while i was staring into space. just thinking about all the things happening in my life. i don't question god about why he allowed all these to happen. all i wanna know is what he wants me to learn from them.

but anyhow i really appreciated the time spent talking to yifang ytd. kinda just told her everything. well...i just got to hang in there. i mean i don't even have a choice, do i? i'll try to visit you alright. (= thanks for all the encouragement. really happy to have such a snr like you.

and ms ___ just had to rub it in today. i'm really trying to do what you ask me to. but if you take the mic away, how do you expect me to get the school to settle down? you don't even give me the chance to do it then just accuse me of not taking the initiative. and mrs lee was the one who asked me to just wait for her cue to start the pledge etc, and you doubted me if i know the procedures. maybe i should be the one asking you that question instead. i used to respect you as a teacher, but maybe not anymore. with your false accusations the entire week, i can't wait to stop my pledge duty.

argh...pls just ignore this post cuz it's rants and i'm an angsty girl who can bite your head off

signed and sealed with love at...6:11 PM
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